This year is when I am moving to the next stage in my life, which is very much unknown and therefore by definition exciting. By my nature, I am very good at anticipating bad things, and not so much at seeing the good things. That is the nature that I need to change.

I know I am in a pretty good, and comfortable, place right now. Therefore it is natural that I am clinging on to the present, a little too desperately. But change, and becoming uncomfortable, is what growing, and growing up, is – and it’s time to be a little less selfish and be deserving of my parents, and the many generations before that somehow resulted in what I am now.

Anyway, that’s my rational explanation for what’s happening. The struggle is reconciling the rational with the gut feeling (i.e. overprivileged entitlement). As soon as I manage to do that, I will see how exciting change is – so I’ve been promised. For now, I just need to keep repeating these things to myself, and stop anticipating, and planning for, every bad thing that can happen along the way.