I don’t do backslaps and high fives. I just can’t physically bring myself up to do it and I recoil when others do it.

I can’t sincerely call people I barely know “buddy” and “bro” and so I don’t. Though somehow genderneutral “dude”, “mate” and “mon” – to both men and women – comes easier – but only if I know them a little.

I will never fit in this company.