trying to book a trip to a wedding and find a place to stay together with a bunch of people in Marin County. 

1. Marin County is, apparently, really fancy. I had no idea. Even camping is really expensive.

2. Homeaway ripped its entire interface off Airbnb. But to my surprise it has a better selection.

This place feels a world apart, but people actually commute from here. I’m on a bus that gets into the city at 9:40 but there are earlier buses, too. I have to return to the city to return the little things that tie me to this company. The light and the morning fog above the water that could only be seen at this hour were beautiful and I will just have to remember them like that. Also, saved a groundhog who was obliviously munching something away in the middle of the road.

They immediately disabled my work access, and, by extension, the laptop is no longer accessible. Funny how this company blindly follows its rules even if it’s in its worst self-interest. I feel wrong to abandon the clients who expect things from me and leave the coworkers to deal with the sh.tshow from the half-finished work that will inevitably follow. I thought I would have 2 weeks.
I have to go to the city tomorrow to surrender the laptop and look at the clouds for the last time.

Shoganai. there is nothing I can do.

Now I sit in this empty house suddenly free. It feels wrong to just go for a walk in the forest, down to the stream, and read a book. Or sleep? But i might do just that.

humansofnewyork:

“Ten years ago I was the subject of a documentary called ‘No Impact Man.’ It was about my attempt to live for an entire year with as little environmental impact as possible. My family rode bikes everywhere. We used no paper products. And the film got quite a lot of attention. I wasn’t used to the success. I’d written two history books before then. And they were good books, but they didn’t have much of a readership. Now all of the sudden I was being interviewed, and celebrated, and invited on Good Morning America. And then people started attacking me. Gawker wrote several articles calling me self-righteous, and an opportunist, and said I was imposing my values on my family. People said I didn’t care about the environment and only wanted to make money. And all the attention really caused a crisis for me. For the first time, I had a personhood that was completely different than my person. And that was exhausting. When someone called me a hero, I wanted to prove them right. When someone called me a devil, I wanted to prove them wrong. It took a lot of self-examination to realize that I was neither. There is a fullness to a person that is gigantic and nuanced and indefinable. It was equally impossible to be a hero or a devil. I couldn’t be contained by a single word.”