the view from the office every day this time this week

Typical – I feel thoroughly uncomfortable and awkward in places like this even on normal days, like an impostor.
Especially today – when it’s Mother’s Day, and it’s full of locals with their grandmothers and toddlers, and I really should be home, so instead of being in the beautiful now, I am looking at Nest cam app at L sleeping in the dark room half way across the world.

Two long nights in a row spent on a plane made me strangely hyper emotional like I’ve never been before. Also, this is only second time in my life when I’m in a place with exactly zero people in any direction for many thousands of miles who have ever heard of my existence.
I haven’t felt this lonely in I don’t know how long. Literally weeping when seeing people with their beautiful multiracial toddlers because I miss L like something crazy.
And angry (rather than ashamed) when seeing benches outside the courthouse (evidently left over from the old days) marked “non-whites only” and, next to it “whites only”. This awfulness ended only half a generation ago here… Why are all these black people in the hotel and Uber drivers so nice to me? I’ve never seen black people being this nice to me.