I’ve found that the reason the new-home-search causes such unhappiness rather than excitement is the realization that everything is a downgrade. A possible downgrade in size, a certain downgrade in what’s around in the neighborhood, and a definite downgrade in how long the commute will be, and the likely inability to bike to work anymore.

Instead of progress, I feel like I’m going backwards, and that I’ve failed as a provider of steady improvement that’s expected of all of us. At one time, scaling back was a conscious decision: I didn’t know it would be so difficult and regrets so acute.